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>If Moore’s "A Visit from St Nicholas" were written by Robert W. Service

December 20, 2010

>Have you ever read a poem by Robert Service? He’s probably best known for “The Cremation of Sam Magee.

This is a parody of “A Visit from St. Nicholas by Clement C. Moore, written by Frank Jacobs (in the style of Robert Service).

A bunch of the boys were whooping it up on a Christmas Eve one year,
All full of cheap whiskey and hoping like hell that St. Nick would soon appear,
When right through the door and straight out of the night, which was icy and cold as a freezer,
Came a broken-down sled, pulled by eight mangy dogs, which were whipped by an old bearded geezer.

His teeth were half missing, and flapping his frame was a tatter of red-colored clothes;
He was covered with snow from his head to his toe, and an icicle hung from his nose;
The miners all cheered when the geezer appeared, and the poker game stopped in mid-bet;
Each sourdough smiled like a young, happy child at the thought of the gifts he would get.

They pushed him aside and went straight for his bag to be sure that they’d all get their share;
And, oh, how they cried when they found that inside there was nothing but old underwear;
So they plugged the old geezer, which was a great shame, for if anyone there had been sober,
He’d have known double-quick that it wasn’t St. Nick, ’cause it only was early October.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. December 20, 2010 2:10 pm

    >Ha! Love it. Best Christmas-related thing I've seen or heard so far this season.

  2. December 20, 2010 10:59 pm

    >As I think you know, I’m not big on poetry, and I don’t know who Frank Jacobs or Robert Service are – but regardless, this is just plain funny.

  3. December 21, 2010 3:00 pm

    >LOL! (I'm with Florinda on this.)

  4. December 21, 2010 3:25 pm

    >FreshHell, glad you enjoyed it. I guess I had to work in an ironic Christmas thing, after coming out in favor of non-ironic sweater wearing…Florinda, glad you enjoyed it too. The Robert Service poem I link to is worth reading. He's really good read out loud to impressionable children!Care, glad it made you laugh.

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